One giveth, one taketh…
It has been an emotional week with my mother having major surgery (which went successfully) and the sad passing of my nanna at the age of 93. If there ever was a week that made me reflect on what’s important in life and what isn’t, this is it. Life and death certainly works its charms on putting perspective in place.
“One giveth life, one hath taketh – but some never live whilst alive, and some live on in death.”
Having been around my mother quite closely and caring for her, I’ve seen the deterioration, mentally and physically, and how much my mother was yearning to have the pain taken away. Chronic and intense pain can be life-altering, even going so far as changing one’s personality.
I’m so grateful that my mother’s surgery was a success. It has alleviated a lot of her pain and aided her mobility although we’re obviously still early in the rehabilitation phase, so it’s not entirely smooth sailing. In this sense, the surgery has given mum a renewed sense of life from an unbearable and untenable future. Obviously, we’re not out of the woods just yet, but the early signs are pleasing.
Despite its inevitability, death is a subject that a lot of people struggle with – and I’m not referring to the natural human emotion of grief. Obviously, you’re likely to be upset, possibly even emotionally distraught, when a loved one dies who you had a close attachment to. My nanna had been tiring for a while, so even though the event was sudden, it wasn’t entirely unexpected. I think sometimes the mature human mind and body prepares itself in advance for such occasion, in order to deal with it better when the time comes. However, it doesn’t mean you shut yourself off to the raw emotions when the death of a loved one happens.
I feel sadder that my mother unfortunately didn’t get to say her final goodbyes and be there for her sister (my aunty) in person, due to the major surgery, but the nature of life is arbitrary like that. Nobody really knows when the reaper is going to come calling, and truth to be told, I wouldn’t want to know. Is it tragic and unfair? Yes, but the story of life is tragic and unfair, so what can we do about it other than offer our love and support to those in need?
This won’t be a lengthy article, and I’ll leave a list of related articles at the end for further reading should you wish.
My nanna was my sole remaining grandparent, and we have these life-markers throughout our existence when we have no more of something/someone. To think that the last conscious conversation I had with my nanna – nanna heard my final words, but was unable to speak at that point – was on loudspeaker whilst I was washing dishing when she rang to speak to my mum about her recent doctor’s appointment was just the type of phone call you’d have on a regular basis.
So, my mum has been given a new chance in life while my nanna has had her life taken away. For both these tremendous people, I am forever grateful for their impact on my life. And whilst we celebrate those who are no longer with us, I love that I get to celebrate the other for many more years to come.
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Well son, my eyes poured out tears as i read this article. How lovely it was written. It has been an extremely difficult week for me, but i got peace from reading your words. Life & Death, it affects us all without prejudice. All the family were extremely blessed having a wonderful loving mother and nana and Margaret Rose O'Brien will go on living in our hearts always. As for me, I hope to be around for a while yet 😊 Thank you for all your love, care, support and wise words over the past 14 months or so which gave me great strength to soldier on. One door closes, another door opens........life and death.........inevitable. ❤️